Kilo

When I lost my sheltie last year I knew why she died. For the last five of Lady’s thirteen years we’d waged a losing war against arthritis. In the end the medicine stopped working, our shield had rusted. Kilo’s situation was not so straightforward. No one can tell me for certain what was wrong with him. Veterinarians, behaviorists, trainers, breeders . . . somewhere, somehow, something was just wrong. A screw had wiggled loose.

Kilo went to sleep today. The only way I or anyone else was going to be able to keep him was with drugs and a lifelong behaviorist. My big bear was already acting uncomfortable; I couldn’t imagine drugging him up for the rest of his life. But he was no longer safe to be around either. He’d become unpredictable, moody and aggressive. Still, at times, he’d look at me with those huge brown eyes and I’d see the goofy puppy in him. It was not a decision any of us wanted to make, and yet, realistically there was no other option.

The mule was such an individual. His personality was impossible to ignore and at times it could quite literally smother you. I have never met a dog with so much stubborn persistence. But he could make me laugh, and he knew how to enjoy life. Blunder first, wonder later. Even amongst all of the heartache, there are so many cute stories. Tomorrow I’m sure that I’ll get up missing his rise-and-shine nose bump and the image of his head hanging out the car window, chin resting on the ledge, ears flapping in the wind . . .

For awhile at least, this blog will be empty. The big dog is gone. His adventures have ended.

Kilo: 3/25/2010 – 4/27/2011

Tick Tock . . .

For all of you who have been listening to my worries concerning the big bear and been worrying along with me . . . thank you :) We're still waiting on his thyroid results. No news yet. He does seem to have good and bad days. Some days he's very moody and angry, he'll lie around the house, refuse to be pet, and generally look rather pathetic. But even on his good days he doesn't like to be rubbed on - he'll let you scratch him (he's always itchy) but the moment you start petting/rubbing he's out of there. He still hasn't been able to be around Chase or strangers, even on his 'good' days - he's just too testy to trust him with it. Fingers crossed for the thyroid test. We'll be talking to the vet either way I suppose. Somethings just not right.

Nope, Still Not Done.

Kilo’s birthday was last week, on the 25^th. One year old and still alive. However, I didn’t host a ‘we made it party’; we definitely have not ‘made it’. Kilo’s proven me wrong again. The mule has been ‘off’ lately; as in, behaving in a fashion that is beyond his normal bullheadedness. Wednesday night he convinced me something was wrong by suddenly attacking his best friend. Luckily I saw the problem before Kilo made contact but the whole ordeal was incredibly startling and scary. Chase and he have been disgustingly close, yet now every time Kilo even looks at Chase he becomes disgruntled and angry. The problem has become even more concerning since Kilo’s anger is not solely directed at other dogs, he’s begun having problems with other people. His transformation was so sudden and concerning that yesterday I drug mom, Kilo and I to the vet, wondering about a thyroid imbalance or some other illness. The vet took one look at us, pooh-poohed us and sent us home with a helpful ‘you need to train your dog.’ Mother called a local behaviorist who sent us back to the vet, asking for a thyroid panel. *Sigh* Today we once more journeyed to the vet’s office, had an entirely unpleasant experience, and then came home. Now, we wait a week until the results come in. And we worry. If this isn’t a hormonal imbalance or symptom of a disease then I have one very angry, unsociable dog on my hands. The worst part is that he isn’t predictable. I can’t tell why he suddenly got so angry at Chase. But things that used to bother or stress him out a little bit, are suddenly sending him over the edge. I’m not sure what I’ll do if this turns out to be behavioral, so as cruel as it might sound, I’m hoping to hear that he’s sick. If anybody knows anything about these kinds of problems please feel free to put a word in. I’ve listed Kilo’s ‘symptoms’ below, most are probably not related (or issues he’s had his whole life), but with everything that’s been going on I’ve been trying to think of anything I could that might give us a hint.

Problems: always itchy, ear problems, sometimes seems sore, temperamental (easily freaked out), digestive issues (gas, occasional diarrhea), lost 5 lbs.

And now we wait . . .